I , the Destroyed Daddy am myself a second born child. I don’t tend to dwell on the fact nor did I think about what that position in the pecking order ever really meant to me growing up. I guess I always just looked at my sister when I was younger and thought I got the looks she got the brains!! Rather than anything more deep!
But since Wilf graced us with his beautiful presence I’ve stared to compare the differences that a second born , and wilf in particular has had to contend with compared to his Big bruv Henry.
You have a lot of obvious stuff like the sharing of toys and affection. Which on their own are big enough deals. The fact that most toys are hand me downs and he then normally has to let his brother dominate playing with them. There’s the sad but unavoidable issue that he rarely gets one on one time with either mummy or daddy and god forbid we ever have a count up of baby pictures because he is about a thousand short of his brother!
These are all fairly standard observations and I understand that . But if you think about it and whilst it’s no ones fault , the way parental time is split with two it’s not very fair on the second! I guess the counter argument from 1st borns would be how unfair it was the no2 came and stole their parents but I’ll leave that for my sister to write about if she has any problem with it!
He’s defiantly a different boy to his brother, and of course one would expect that as all children are different .But I think his temperament is defiantly linked to how we have been with him.
Like any baby he does of course look for attention but doesn’t seem to need it constantly , hes much better at amusing himself and certainly more head strong than his brother. He doesn’t need as much close affection, unlike his brother , hugs and kisses are hard to come by and he seems to have a harder edge . Maybe I’m reading to much into it and I certainly don’t sit and blame myself or his Mum. We love him and give him as much attention as we can but there is a ceiling limit to what you can do with two.
But nevertheless Wilf is still thriving, he doesn’t know any different and until he has a couple of kids (if ever ) he probably won’t even think about it.
He turned one last week and the same day cracked how to walk. He’s getting about everywhere and loving it.
He’s surviving the beatings his brother dishes out, some through over zealous play , others from just generally acts of brotherly thuggery ! But I have a sneaky feeling that this little tank will have his revenge soon enough.
No 2 in age but joint 1st in our hearts xx